These are things I didn't write about, but they happened: the garden was full of lavender and the lavender was full of bees, I woke up from the anesthesia and my family came to pick me up and my partner held my arm and the kiddo held my hand, my family sent me lots of texts and cute pictures, my family comes over for Shabbat every week and sometimes it's thrilling and sometimes it's uncomfortable and it's always warm and home and sweet, the fence that faces the window over the kitchen sink is covered in honeysuckle and the smell is intoxicating and it is full of bees too, the kids make such a mess I mean they are Chaos in human form and I could not love them more, I'm scared to leave my job but I also know that I'm going to and what if?, I curled up in bed and everything was soft and warm and I remembered what it was like to be under a thick pile of blankets in the winter baking the cold out of my bones, sometimes we sit on the couch not paying attention to each other but really we are connected by a web of love and care and I just listen to them breathing and it feels like life, I used to think that there were four people in my core and that sounded very stable but yesterday I realized there are five because my core includes me and five is both trouble and magic and now it's seven because there are two new people and seven means luck and growing and chances, this morning it rained and the signs the kids are making for their booth are scattered all over the yard soaking wet, and they are going to sell anti-love, which makes you break up, and puppy love and a bunch of other different kinds of love that I forgot already, and the kids are all right and love is real and I think hope believe that we can all find a way out, that we can build a new world, that we can live.
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AuthorBitter Water
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. Archives
June 2019
Categories© Francie Nevill and Every Sweet Thing, 2017.
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